The value in being confused

19-Jan-2012 - For many consultants the greatest emotional pressure comes, not from the client, but from themselves. Malcolm Sleath of 12boxes suggests that the highest performers are those who are comfortable with their lack of understanding.

Question: I run a team of specialist consultants. All are technically very competent, personable, and easy to get on with, but they vary a great deal in the amount of support they need, particularly at the proposal stage. Some have the knack of coming away from the client with a clear understanding of the shape of a proposal. They don’t take long over writing them, and the hit rate is pretty good. But one or two always seem to have second thoughts and get themselves in a tangle over what they last discussed with the client, and what they now think is the right thing to do. I know they are professionally competent, and feel very frustrated that they can’t seem to get mentally organised to get it right first time. Should I just accept this as a fact of life or can something be done?

Answer: When coaching consultants, it is important to explore why they want the time to have second thoughts. There are good reasons and bad reasons.

Some people are so preoccupied with working out what the client wants that they neglect their own need for solid information. When a consultant allows ‘pleasing the client’ to drive their behaviour in a meeting, it is hard for them to ask questions that might be regarded as even slightly confronting.

This is compounded when consultants are afraid to appear wrong. Some have the idea that they should be all-seeing and wise so they can greet every new piece of information as something they have really known all along. None of us lives up to this ‘ideal’ (you have to be Gandalf or Jeeves to do that – both fictional of course).

When a client presents contradictory pieces of information, or stuff just doesn’t add up, the client-pleasing consultant assumes that the confusion they are experiencing is their own fault because they must have misunderstood something. But they don’t resolve their confusion by asking a question because it might create the impression that they are slow on the uptake.

Although the meeting might appear to end on a note of bonhomie and accord, it is a thin veneer. The consultant comes away with more questions than answers because they haven’t checked things out with the client on the spot. The yawning gaps in their understanding become all too obvious once they are confronted with a blank Word document.

Too nervous to call the client and check things out, they try to save face and seek a way out by redefining the client need. What they come up with sounds sensible but does not logically follow on to what was actually said in the meeting.

Contrast this with the attitude of the consultant who, while not disregarding the impression they might make on the client, sees their prime responsibility as being to understand what they are observing and being told. If they don’t understand, they will check it out at the time. They won’t assume that the lack of comprehension is somehow their fault.

Clients in difficult situations often fudge the facts and offer explanations that don’t make sense. The last thing they need is to be appeased with more fudge. What they need is a calm authoritative figure who is not afraid to cut through the fudge and say, “I don’t understand’.

There is nothing wrong with second thoughts as such. Not everything will come out in the first or the second meeting and second, or even third, thoughts can lead to better solutions. Getting back to a client after a meeting with a fresh angle shows that you have been thinking about their needs and you are not just throwing out proposals in the hope that some of the mud will stick. These follow up conversations can be relatively easy and rewarding if the original discussion was with one or two people; harder if the presentation was to three or more.

Often, the consultant needs time to think through what the client has said. I am told that it takes 48 hours for people to think their way around a new idea and fully absorb it. Some consultants habitually say as a matter of course, “Let me think this over and get back to you”. Whether the ‘pause’ is for effect or simply to give time for genuine mulling over, it gives them time to absorb what they have learned.

Some consultants believe that this ‘thoughtful’ approach adds to their gravitas in the eyes of the client. Clients can be suspicious of an instant response, feeling that the consultant has could only have gained a superficial impression from the conversation.

Having had the second thoughts, it’s important to think about how you present fresh ideas to clients. Sometimes, being hit with a sudden insight produces a rush of energy and the client can feel swamped by the consultant’s enthusiasm and (dare I suggest) ego. It’s easy to be a bit too pleased with yourself when you have suddenly seen the light. Remember is that while you have been living with your evolving thoughts, the client hasn’t. Indeed the client may have evolved further thoughts of their own.

So when you want to introduce a new idea, think in terms of retracing your steps to the place you last left the client, and gently lead them along the path to enlightenment.

But if you are in a coaching or a supervisory role, what can you do with (or for) a consultant who is not having genuine second thoughts, but incompletely resolved first thoughts?

In the short-term, probably not much. For a consultant to admit to a client that they haven’t really got what they needed for that proposal they promised takes courage, and if they were a bit in awe of the client to start with (which is what led to the problem in the first place) it’s hard to find the bottle to say, “Can we just explore a few more points?”

What many people in client-facing roles need to take on board is that the people who get furthest are often the people who are comfortable with being wrong. They see the client meeting or phone call as an opportunity to improve their understanding of the situation, not as a test of their ability to have instant right answers.

It is often the situations that seem most puzzling and contradictory that offer the greatest opportunity to add value. They can appear confusing at first, and it’s only human to think ‘it must be me’. Timid consultants who come away with only half the story need to understand that everyone feels that way. It’s what people do with the feeling that makes the difference.

If the first reaction is self-reproach, then the consultant can’t focus on the issue. However, if the consultant recognises the feeling as information that something needs to be explored, they will switch their attention from themselves and their own insecurities, to the matter in hand.

Result? They stay in the present and address the issues. When they leave the meeting, they have probably got what they need, and in case those pesky second thoughts create the need for another conversation, they make sure to carefully leave the door open so they can go back to the client in the right frame of mind and with head held high.

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Malcolm is the Founding Director of 12boxes Limited. 12boxes is a conversational approach to getting clients to recognise the real value of consulting and other high-value complex services. More information at www.12boxes.com/tc.

Contact Malcolm with your views, questions or suggestions at malcolm@12boxes.com or follow his on Twitter - twitter.com/malcolm12boxes.

© Malcolm Sleath 2012. All rights reserved.